New Year with my Lord

New Year's Resolutions are usually lost on me. I think I'll do them and I usually go strong till about January 2nd. But this year I've been trying to think, what's a resolution that I can acutally do that I really NEED to do. There's always the "I'll eat better", "I'll exercise more", "I'll stay caught up on the laundry"....but like I said, those are the kind that start out strong and fizzle out. So I was sitting her in my room looking at the enormous pile of laundry that needs to be folded and put away and realized what I needed to do. (The laundry has nothing to do with it, so I'm not sure why it inspired this idea!). I need to be a better EVERYTHING! So how does one do that? The only answer I came up with was to spend more time with the Father. The creator of everything. The only One that can change anything and everything in me. In order to be a better wife, a better mom, a better teacher, a better friend, a better daughter, a better everything is to more focused on what God has to say about all of this. To do what I can to have a "heart like His". So I thought about when do I actually have time to do this? I mean I've never been a morning person, so if I wanted to shoot myself in the foot, I'd pick mornings. No thank you! I am a night person, but after I've been everything to everyone, by the end of the day, it's the last thing I want to do. So let's see...when do I have time? The only thing I came up with was that around 1 o'clock everyday, Addison goes down for her nap. Now I usually take this time to do chores around the house and maybe veg out on a TIVO'd show. Is that really the best use of my time? I can first spend time with the Lord, and then do the other things that need to get done. So....

For Christmas I asked for a Beth Moore book (if you don't know who she is, google her, she is an AMAZING woman of God and author). I did a summer study at church this summer and it was all about the Life of David. I really enjoyed it. So I asked for Beth Moore's book called "DAVID, 90 days with a heart like His". My parents were wonderful enough to give it to me and I thought it would be a perfect way to start off my new year.

So when I usually would have been tackling this:

I instead spent some time with this:

And I already feel like I've been more productive today than I have been in a long time. I'm really excited to start this new year "with a heart like His"....

P.S. Now I really do have to go and fold all that laundry...UGH!

That was a LONG break....Christmas has come and gone

Wow, to blog or not to blog...I can't believe it's been two months since I've sat down to do this. Although right now I'm not sitting, I'm laying in bed listening to Justin snore next to me, resisting the urge to elbow him to make him stop...guess I didn't do well cause I just woke him up and told him I'd scratch his back if he'd turn on his side!

Anyway, not the point here, sorry. So I just looked at my last post and can't believe two months has gone by. I told myself when I started this thing, I was going to be diligent. Consistent. And well, that lasted like a month. So I'm back on the wagon. Of course I'm pretty sure there's only like four people in my life reading this, and those people probably already know all there is to know about what's going on here on Devonshire Ln., but hey, a girl's gotta blog.

So let's see, November held for us Thanksgiving. We went to Justin's Dad's house to celebrate this year. It was really cute. Dennis and Lisa, or Grammy and Grampy, went out and got all these toys for Addison to have at their house. Dress up clothes and all!

She loved playing with her baby and really loved playing in the toy house they got her.

All of Justin's family was there and it was a great time.

Next came the day after Thanksgiving. This is the day I bumped my head and began the project of redoing my whole downstairs! A complete overhaul! Angie and Gary were my partners in crime. We repainted the whole downstairs, painted the kitchen cabinets, all new artwork, brought my bedroom wardrobe downstairs to put kitchen items in, painted my table and chairs, and more. It was totally stressful for a non changer like myself. It was many many hours and days of non stop working. My mother in law Bobbie and my mom tag teamed watching Addie so we could get stuff done. Why I started this when Christmas was looming? Who knows, I belong in the loony bin. And of course I as write this, I don't even have pics to post cause they're on my other computer! UGH! (Deep breath....). But now it's all done and I LOVE it! My peach (don't ask) walls are gone and now it's something I really like. I hate that I have to reside on Devonshire Ln. much longer than originally planned, but if I have to, I'm glad it looks like it does downstairs. I'm happier, which is turn means my family is happier. :) My deadline was Christmas Eve, since all of Justin's family was coming over and I made it to my deadline. I only tried to kill Justin a few times along the way. ;) (I will post pics soon...of the downstairs, not of me trying to kill Justin).

This brings me to Christmas. It was spent with a little of this:

Disneyland with the Blairs

And then taking first prize at Kristen and Bryan's annual Tacky Christmas Sweater Party...I think the picture speaks for it's self!

Then we had Christmas Eve at our house and I made homemade clam chowder and chicken noodle soup in bread bowls. It was really yummy! I'm pretty sure everyone liked it cause it was GONE by then end of the evening. Justin and I really enjoyed watching Addison "participate" in Christmas for the first time, opening presents like a pro, asking that each box which held a toy be opened right then, on demand. She got some great stuff! We really were blessed.


The next day was spent with my side of the family. We did our annual stockings (they are WAY out of control price wise, but seriously my FAVORITE part of Christmas). Then it was on to our usual breakfast of chili egg puff (never touch the stuff), bacon and cinnamon rolls. Soon after, we tore into gifts but had to take a "nap" hiatus because the little ones could not endure Christmas straight through. After everyone was napped and showered, gift opening continued till evening. Then the McCulloch's all came over and we had our amazing turkey dinner. My favorite of the year. Sooo yummy.





We dressed the girls in matching dresses that I love and speny what felt like most of my evening in the kitchen either cooking or cleaning up. Ah, the life of a woman in my family. All in all, it was a great time with family and friends. Many a batch of almond roca was made, many a party was had, but most importantly we were able to celebrate the birth of Christ with our daughter by our side and in our arms. It was a blessed time to say the least....

My Silly Girl

So Addison is quite the little attention getter. She LOVES to have all eyes on her and has come up with some pretty cute and funny ways to get people to pay attention to her.


This is her with her "wings" on. She grabs a dish towel from the kitchen, makes us tie it on her and then she flaps her arms like wings and flies around the room!


Here is her next favorite thing to do. She love to sit in the fridge when I open it. She thinks it so funny and WON'T get out for me to close it!


Okay, so she doesn't do this for attention, but it's just too darn cute that I had to add it in. This is her pretending to go "nigh nigh" on the living room floor. She loves pillows and blankets.




Here she's copying Mommy. She is trying to be a helper and vacuum the floor. Of course this is when I'm trying to get her out of the house, cause we have somewhere to be...but NOOOOO, she needed to vacuum.



And taking after her cousin Brayden, here she is putting stickers all over herself. What you don't see here, is that she then thinks it's time for a snack and tried to EAT all the stickers.



So, these are the many silly faces of Addison...so far!

OC Walk to Remember...

October 15th is Infant Loss Awareness Day. So we find it so fitting to celebrate Peyton each year by attending the OC Walk to Remember. Peyton's birthday is October 20th, so the timing just feels so right to us. This year the walk was held on October 10, at UCI.

The OC Walk to Remember is a nonprofit organization that supports parents who have lost a baby in pregnancy or infancy. The mission of the OC Walk to Remember is to raise money for local organizations that support parents who have experienced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or infant loss of any kind, as well as be a resource center for parents, doctors, nurses, hospitals, support groups, and anyone in need of support or information. So you can see why this would be so close to our hearts.

Our team's name was "Pacing 4 Peyton"...here's our team...

We had Auntie Jackie, Jake, Papa, Nana, Shannon, Karen, Addison, Justin, me, Ramey, Uncle Gary, Grammy, Grampy, and Auntie Angie. Our biggest team ever!

It was an emotional yet blessed day to be with our family and friends, as well as so many other families who have experienced what we have. Here are some highlights from our walk!

Mommy and Addison during the ceremony

Nana and Papa listening to all the babies names being read.

They released balloons in honor of our babies





Shannon and cousin Ramey walking with Addison and keeping her entertained.




Jackie, me, and Justin taking the steps for Peyton that he never got to take...





Grammy and Grampy




Uncle Gary, Auntie Angie, and Jake




Afterwards, we all came back to our house for lunch! Justin grilled up carne asada and I made homemade spanish rice. This is Addison going back and forth to Uncle and Auntie eating all their spanish rice!




More please!




My mom brought this cake for everyone to enjoy...




They gave all the parents a white rose to represent the baby they had lost. Here is our rose for our precious Peyton....

We hope to keep this up as our family's tradition of how we can honor the life of Peyton and to use this time to come together to remember him and rejoice in the knowledge that he's Home with our Father, and this is not goodbye forever. We can't wait till we get to see him again in heaven. Until then, his memory will live on in our hearts and the hearts of all the people his short life touched.

Remembering him...

So, it hit me today. For most of my life around this time of year, I would start to get excited because I knew my birthday was around the corner. I've always been a birthday person and LOVED my birthday. But that has all changed. My birthday is now just barely a blip on my radar screen now. It is, and always will be, overshadowed by a different birthday. Peyton's birthday.

I was sitting there today and it all of the sudden occurred to me that in two weeks, Peyton would be three years old! THREE! He would be running around with a truck or dinosaur in his hand, tattling on Addison, getting dirty, and rough housing with Justin. He'd be saying prayers with me at bedtime and saying "I love you mommy" and I tucked him in. He'd know his letters, his numbers, his colors and probably even know how to read a few words (cause his mommy is a teacher of course). We'd be looking into preschools and hearing about what he learned in Sunday School. Our life would be so different than it is today. I'd be planning a party for him. But all of that changed when we lost him. Our path, our course changed forever.

Yes, time helps...it makes the sting less, but the pain is always there. Like when you lose a limb, they say that you still get phantom pain. It comes in waves, and hits the hardest at times like this...his birthday and Christmas being the hardest. But a mom never forgets. A mom's heart never forgets, never stops loving. I can picture him. I can almost hear him sometimes. I miss him. I know we'll be okay. I know we have survived his passing and our loss, but I'm forever changed. Survivors survive, but they don't forget. I'm forever the mommy of my sweet boy and I'm forever wishing that I could have had the honor to watch him grow up and become a man. I'm wishing I was putting three candles on a cake and singing "happy birthday" and seeing the joy in his eyes as he opened presents. I'm the mom of a son, and that will never change. I love him today as much as I did when I held him in my arms. He's my baby...my sweet baby boy.

Love and Respect...

Okay, so I know this whole blog is really gonna be about Addison, but I just have to share about our weekend. And hey, Justin and I working on our marriage is all for Addison, right?

We went to the Love and Respect conference in San Diego. I know it's dramatic to say, but I really think it may have been life changing for me. I learned so much about my husband that I didn't know. I really learned about his needs as man and just how much they differ from mine. I also learned that it's gonna take a lot of work on my part to change how I function and treat him. He would DIE for Addie and me, and therefore he really deserves my honor and my respect. I want so much to be a good wife to him, the wife he needs. This will NOT happen over night but I am committed to making changes within me, not only to respect Justin, but to glorify God. I am excited to see what God can do with this....I am excited to gain a deeper love and understanding of Justin and I'm excited to have an even better marriage. I hope all you wives out there show your husbands respect today for all they do for you and your families. They deserve it and God calls us to show it. ..

Fun with Nana

So Addie and Nana have a special time together on Thursdays. They go to a "boogie" class, which is really just fun and dancing and playing. She LOVES it and the most talkative girl in the bunch!

She's a superhero!!

Everything goes in her mouth.

She loves to play with balls.

Out of the gate...

Okay so I'm starting to dive into the world of blogging. I've decided to use this blog as a way for family and friends who aren't around (or maybe those that are but we just don't see often) to keep up with our family. And by family, I of course mean Addison. I mean let's get serious, from the second she was born the attention shifted off of us, and onto her TOTALLY. Now I don't begrudge my darling precious girl of this, because this is how it should be! She's way cuter and more interesting that Justin or I will ever be. And she's just so funny! So like I said this is to start to keep a record of her and all the fun and crazy stuff she does for us on a daily basis. So to start I'll give you a few gems of what she did today....

First she took a 3 1/2 hour nap! Crazy! And she only does it on the days when we don't want her to....she has a sixth sense about this. She has begun to take the stick that we have to lock our sliding glass door at night, and she walks around banging in on the floor. Justin calls her Moses and tells her to "Let my people go"! She is fascinated right now with Ring Around the Rosey and calls it "ashes". We do this and she of course falls down too soon and then claps for her self, says "MOE" and pulls us up off the ground. She also likes it when we sing Itsy Bitsy Spider and does her best to do the motions. She gave lots of eskimo kisses tonight and likes to come up and just hug us when she's not promted to. Oh and she's graduated from just knowing where her body parts are (i.e. nose, mouth, belly button, etc) and she can go and point to mommy or daddy's too (and she goes to the right person!). She's obsessed with shoes right now and wants them on all the time ("Shooooooes") and she even brings us the matching ones to put on her. Now if I could just capture all this on camera! My memory card is full and I've misplaced the cable so I can download what's on there. Of course! My goal is to get those done ASAP so I can go back to taking pics.

So if you're out there and feel like following along and dropping by, thanks for thinking of us!