The Blythe's Are Bloggin...

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-30T12:59:00.000-08:00

We spent Thanksgiving this year with Justin's family out in Riverside. It was your typical Thanksgiving...lots of family, football, and food. The girls had fun playing all day and being doted on by the family. We have so much to be thankful for this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love, The Blythes

Week Three Acts of Kindess

2011-11-22T08:40:00.000-08:00

Day One: I brought my friend and co worker a Starbucks coffee to work. As teachers, we LOVE our coffee!

Day Two: A family from our adult fellowship group was going through a tough time. The man of the house was about to undergo major surgery so I brought them a meal.

Day Three: We were approached by a homeless man in the Toys R Us parking lot, so I gave him the compassion bag I made that I was keeping in my car. I also installed two of our three carseats for my husband. Installing carseats is such a pain to him and he hates it, so I did it for him.

Day Four: My in laws came out for the day and helped me to begin packing up our house. I didn't get to do an act of kindness, because they were showering me with their acts of kindness.

Day Five: I installed the final carseat in my husband's car and cleaned it out as well.

Day Six: Made two big pans of homemade stuffing for our adult fellowship group's Thanksgiving Feast.

Day Seven: Today I really got blessed by my best friend. She was so kind to me, that instead of blessing someone else today, she showered me with blessings. I'm really grateful...

Week Two Acts of Kindness

2011-11-17T13:39:00.000-08:00

The second week of this challenge has proved to be another successful week! I'm really loving it!

Day One: Today I took the time to write a sweet card to one of my dearest and treasured friends. She's the kind of friend that you count yourself blessed to have in your life. She has been there for me in everything and I just love her and wanted to take the time to tell her.

Day Two: Addie and I went through all of her beloved dress ups (those of you who know her know how much she LOVES to dress up) and picked out three that she was willing to give away to someone that doesn't have a lot of dress ups. We've got someone on mind, but I don't want to give it away till we give it to the little girl we picked.

Day Three: This one is private...just not something I think should be shared out in the blog world. :)

Day Four: My hubby came home after working a 12 hour day and his feet were killing him. So I offered him a foot rub. I sat and rubbed his feet for a good 1/2 hour. I KNOW he really enjoyed this particular act of kindness. :)

Day Five: I packed up a "Compassion Bag". I got this idea off of pinterest. It's a bag of stuff that a homeless person might want/need. It's got stuff in it like water, food, soap, toothpaste, deodorant, anti bacterial gel, some cough drops, cookies, wipes, some pain reliever, etc. It's in a big zip-lock bag and we're gonna keep it in our car and when we come across a homeless person asking for money, we're going to give it to him/her. We wrote God Loves You on it. I also brought the trash cans in for my hubby...for him that was a MAJOR act of kindness. ;)

Day Six: I made dinner for my best friend and her husband. Her husband is a former chef and makes us the most amazing food all the time. So I wanted to repay the favor and make him a yummy meal that required no work on his part!

Day Seven: I brought my husband dinner at work. We were going somewhere after he got off work, and he wouldn't have had time to eat, so I got to his work early with food so he'd get a chance to eat.

Week One of Acts of Kindness

2011-11-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I started out of the gate....pretty slow... :( I was all pumped to begin my 30 days of intentional acts of kindness and my first day I was only able to do one small thing. So, after giving myself a stern talking to, I picked myself up and told myself to do better. I think I have! Here's my first week of "kindness"

Day 1: Made copies of students readers and had them assembled for my whole grade level team.

Day 2: Addie and I made a Thank You card for her Awana Cubbies leader, Miss Heather

Day 3: (Got a few in this day) Ran to Sonic and bought Justin and my mom each a Route 44 drink and brought it to both of them. Also made dinner for my parents and my cousins Chris and Sara and dropped it off at their houses.

Day 4: Today was another day of helping my mom. She pulled something in her back and has been struggling. So I made dinner again for her and my dad, and went to her house and did her dishes and folded some laundry.

Day 5: We went shopping to fill up two boxes that our church is passing out to give to needy families for Thanksgiving. So we went and bought all the stuff on the list and we are going to be dropping off the boxes next time we're at church.

Day 6: Today we baked chocolate chip cookies for Daddy, but also for our amazing neighbors Lauren and David. We are so sad that we only met them a year ago! We've lived a few houses down from them for years and have missed out on having this amazing couple in our lives, so we thought we'd show them some love by bringing them cookies.

Day 7: Justin and I are starting up another round of the grief group we run, Empty Arms. Tonight was the first night. We were meeting at our church, so I decided to run to Starbucks and bought a "traveler", which is a box of coffee (I got decaf since the meeting was at night) and also brought along a plate of the cookies I had made the day before. Just wanted everyone to feel comfortable. It's such a difficult thing to go through and difficult decision to make to join the group.

So...that's our first week! I'm really loving this! I'm loving that each day it's putting my mind on how I can serve others instead of worrying about myself. Again, if anyone has any ideas for me for the next few weeks, I'd love to hear them! Oh, and btw, I'm thankful for YOU!

Bath Time

2011-10-29T20:13:00.000-07:00

Justin and I are just elated that Brynn is old enough for the girls to get to take baths together. No more splitting it up, one in the tub, the other in the sink. We can get them both in and washed and ready for bed at the same time. Now when I say "we" I really mean "Justin". What an amazing husband and daddy he is! He takes on bath time EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Yep, it's not even a "Hon, can you bath the girls tonight, pleeeeeeese". It's just a given....and this mama is thankful! So thanks honey, you're the best and I love you!!

Oh, couldn't resist, here's a pic of the girls in the bath...don't you just love this kind of photo!

Addison's Halloween Dance

2011-10-29T19:28:00.000-07:00

Addie is at a new dance school, The Hart Academy. She LOVES it! And so do I! I feel like she's learning so much more than she did at her last class. This is a cute little Halloween dance that her teacher taught them this day and then they performed it for the parents. Click HERE to see the video!

**The reason she makes a scary face at the end is that they had to make a monster face and that is what she came up with!)

Car Washing is FUN!

2011-10-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

Justin decided that he wanted to give the car a real good wash. I was all for it and sent Addie outside to join him! The car got good and clean....

Then it went from washing the car, to pure joy and water play. Brynn got in on the action too! Addie was skipping around pretending to be the Water Princess and it was great to see the kids just outside, playing, and enjoying being kids. I guess there are advantages to Fall in So Cal!

I LOVE this shot!!

30 Days of Intentional Acts of Kindness

2011-10-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

There is a blog that I follow called "I Can Teach My Child". I feel like this blog is a GREAT find! I could surf it for hours! Since I'm still sure about the idea of putting Addie and Brynn into preschool, since I'm sacrificing so much to be home with them part time, I feel like this is a great resource for me to do lots of teaching at home! Anyway, I'm spinning off topic.

The real reason for this post is that I"m inspired by something going on over at this blog. They are doing something for the month of November called "30 Days of Intentional Acts of Kindness". It's an activity that you can do with your kiddos in order to help instill of giving heart...a Christ-like heart.

We are supposed to make a list for the first seven days. Here is what I have so far:

1. Pay for the someone's Starbucks in the car behind me in the drive thru.

2. Bake cookies and leave them on some of our neighbors front porch.

3. Having a "King Daddy" night for daddy when he comes home. (We do this already from time to time, but I think this is the perfect month to be sure we get one in!)

4. Collect some toys that the kids don't play with anymore and go down and donate them to the local good will.

5. Send and "snail mail" a card to a friend...just because. It's so fun to get real mail now a days.

6. Make an extra portion of dinner one night and drop it off at my parent's house to give my mom the night off.

7. Cut some of our roses in the backyard and give them to someone.

Okay so that's all I have so far....I would LOVE if you have any suggestions...or I'd love it if you want to do this with us! We are gonna try and put on a giving and selfless attitude during this month of Thanksgiving, all to honor our Lord!

Five Years Ago...

2011-10-20T12:45:00.000-07:00

As I sit and look out the window on this gloomy October day, I'm glad that the weather outside reflects a bit of how my heart is feeling. Today my son would be Five. Wow! I can hardly believe that as I write it. We've missed so much these five years. Five years worth of birthdays, giggles, skinned knees, "I love yous", prayers, Christmas', Halloween costumes, family dinners, and so much more. It feels more real today because today is a day that I can't just go about my day and put it to the back of my mind. Today is a day that the busyness of my life as a mom, wife, and teacher isn't more important. Today is a day when I'm forced to face the reality of what happened these years ago. How is it that it can feel so long ago and yet also feel like yesterday, all at the same time?

It's not to say that I haven't learned and grown in these five years. I truly have! God has taken me on quite the journey. When I held my precious baby in my arms, while I watched the heart monitor slowly drop down to zero and I knew that the life that I had carried for those 9 months was gone forever, I really thought I had died too. I was sure that I would not survive this. I was sure that no one was meant to survive something like this....and let's be real...it was a pretty dark year that followed. A dark year full of deep unspeakable sadness, grief, anger, strained relationships, and disappointment. I know Justin thought he has lost his wife forever...but then it's true what they say...it's darkest right before the dawn. I worked through all those feelings that year. I felt them all and let them wash over me. I let God take on my anger and sadness and I learned about the strength that only He can give. I learned that when your heart breaks the way mine did five years ago...it can be restored. Our God is a God of healing and restoration. He is a God who fulfills his promises. He is a God of rainbows.

As I reflect about that time, I am thankful for the people the Lord put in my life that walked along side us through it all. The family that loved me entirely, even when my grief was hard to take. My friends who made meals, came over to teach me how to crochet, who sat on the couch with me and just let the tears pour from my eyes, came and did laundry for us, friends and family who scanned stores and restaurants to be sure we didn't walk down the baby isles or sit next to a baby. My parents who moved in with us while their house was being redone, partly to be sure I was taken care. A therapist who walked the journey with me, helping me to process all that we'd been through. A grief group full of other hurting mommies and daddies that I was able to bond with and find peace with. People who came to the cemetery with me, or bought us keepsakes with his name on them. People who let me talk about Peyton and didn't act uncomfortable when I did. All of these people were the hands and feet of Christ for us...and you all know who you are. You helped me to heal so that I could be the mommy I was meant to be to my two precious girls. You gave them the gift of a "whole" mommy, not a broken, sad one. What these people did for us is irreplaceable. Something far greater than all the money in the world. We were and are so blessed....

So even though today is sad and makes me miss Peyton, I am thankful that I had the two short hours with him. I loved him a lifetime during those moments. I praise God that I have the promise of eternity with him...that my goodbye was not forever...that someday I'll be Home, and I'll finally get to wrap my arms around him and tell him how much I love him....Until then, I'll just remember him and keep on loving his sisters and daddy and do my best to honor his precious life.

Peyton Cread Blythe October 20, 2006

Pumpkin Patch

2011-10-16T15:10:00.000-07:00

Nothing says Pumpkin Patch and Fall like 95 degree weather! So...as you will see, on our family outing to the Irvine Park and Pumpkin Patch, we are all "glistening"...A LOT! Nevertheless, we had a really good time. We rode the train, went through the hay maze several times, jumped in the bounce house, had a picnic, and picked out a pumpkin. These are the stuff memories are made of!

Abigail Raja McCulloch

2011-09-30T16:38:00.000-07:00

We have been waiting for what seems like FOREVER for this sweet precious baby to come into our family. My cousin Chris and his wife Sara welcomed baby Abigail Raja McCulloch into the world on September 25, 2011. She weighed 6 lbs. 12 oz. and was 18 in long. I am so impressed with how my cousin labored! She did it all without any drugs! (A better woman than I!). Here are a few pictures from the hospital...

Auntie Bobbie (Me) with Abigail

Yawning...isn't that the best!

Her close up

Auntie Apryl (my mom) with Abby

Addie holding two day old Abby

To see Addie holding her cousin for the first time CLICK HERE!

2011-09-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

We had our first day of Mommy and Me preschool! It was a bit hectic, not gonna lie, but we had a good time! Brynn came with us and was a trooper. She had to skip her nap for the event and for the most part didn't put up too much of a fight. It didn't help that BOTH girls woke up with runny noses today too. UGH! I was really impressed at how Addie (and her best bud Ava) did in class. She was able to do all the activities and recognized the letter they were working on, which was A, because we've been going over A at home. Her teacher, Miss Martha, is super nice. It's a bit crowded, and there were a few big time "criers", but Addie didn't seem to notice. She was too involved in all that "school" has to offer.

She traced an apple, we cut it out, and then painted it red.

Here she is cutting. She was doing really well at trying to cut between the lines. She had never really spent time cutting before today and picked it up like a champ. In fact, it was her favorite station!

Here we're working on the letter A. We traced it, and colored pictures and then cut them out and glued them. I was teaching her my little saying I tell my students when working with glue..."A dot is A LOT"...otherwise they'll squeeze the whole bottle!

Here she's working with stringing buttons onto a shoe lace. She's a master at this, thanks to Nana, who has beads for her to work with at her house.

This is circle time. Here they sing and listen to a Read Aloud story. Again, she was great! She kept her legs Criss Cross Applesauce and paid attention! To her left is her good friend Ava. We're so excited to be in class with her!

Here Addie is working on her fine motor skills by putting keys onto a key ring. She was also counting all her keys, so it was a good center for her.

All in all, it was a great day. Now this mommy is just hoping that after all that hard work at school...Addie will actually take a NAP! Here's hoping!

Baking with Nana

2011-09-04T16:44:00.000-07:00

My mom has always been a baker. She's a mighty fine one at that! Growing up she would let me help bake the pies with her and now she's letting Addie do it. Here is Addie putting the milk wash on the top layer of the crust.

Then the tradition when I was a kid was that my mom always had extra pie crust. So she would bake it with cinnamon and sugar and it was my treat when we were done baking. I LOVED THIS! Now Addie got to do this with my mom...

After helping with the pie, it was time to roll out the extra dough

Next you butter it....

Then comes the left over juices from your apples, cinnamon, and sugar...

Then she "sprinkled" (more like poured) cinnamon and sugar...

Roll it....

Poke it....

Then Bake it! Now there should be a cool picture of the finished product, but I had to go nurse Brynn, and my mom and Addie jumped into it before I was done.

Here she is with her delicous treat! It was sooooo good!!!

School For Addison

2011-09-04T16:28:00.000-07:00

So now that I'm teaching Kindergarten, Justin and I talked about it and we thought it'd be a good idea to bring some of what I do in my classroom home for Addie to start working on. Since she's not in Preschool, we thought this would be a good way to start teaching her some basic skills. She's doing well! Here is what she did with me a few days ago....

Sorry for the side pic....

Not bad for my three year old. Mommy did help a little but I'm impressed!

Papa and Ice Cream

2011-08-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

So my dad, aka "Papa", LOVES ice cream. It's something he eats pretty much every night of his life. Therefore he likes to share this love of creamy goodness with his grandkids. He just loves taking Addie out for ice cream and her favorite flavor is "Cotton Candy" from Rite Aid. She calls it the Cotton Candy Store. My mom was out of town last week so we called Papa to see if he wanted to spend some time with his girls! He was more than happy to come and take us out for ice cream, and really excited to introduce Brynn to this tradition for the first time.

Here, he's pointing out the different flavors to his girls.

Big shock...Addie got Cotton Candy (which is bright purple and blue! UGH!).

Brynn was contemplating which flavor she and Papa should share.

They decided on Bing Cherry. Here is her first bite.

MMMM....enjoying it together!

Addie just copped a squat right outside and started to dig in!

Yep, it got everywhere...this is pretty mild still! She got really messy!!!!!!

All in all it was a great way to end a summer evening and another wonderful "Papa" memory for my girls to bank in their hearts. We love Papa!!

Splish, SPLASH!!

2011-08-17T18:30:00.000-07:00

I've been dying to take Addie to the local water park in our town, Splash, all summer long. It just seems like it hasn't happened! So, I was super excited when my cousin Shannon (visiting from Washington) suggested we take the kiddos there! I was blessed by my amazing friend Kristen who watched Brynn for me (cause HELLO, not taking a crawler to a water park!). We all enjoyed the lazy river and the kids loved going down the slides over and over again. Addie of course found a "big" friend, a 9 year old girl, who was really sweet and took her down the slide about 50 times. "Bubby" (Josiah) was over it about an hour into it, but the girls stayed strong! There were tears when it was time to go. I guess that's the sign that they had a good time.

I was only able to snap these two photos with my phone, but they are both super cute. Addie had so much fun with her cousins Hannah and Josiah, and her Auntie Shannon and Auntie Donna! Praise God for perfect summer days filled with fun water play!

Sara's Baby Shower

2011-08-15T12:59:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, my mom and I threw my cousin a baby shower! This was an extra special event because my cousin Chris, and his wife Sara have waited a VERY LONG time for this precious blessing. They have been on a 7 year journey for this baby, and the Lord has blessed them now with a baby girl, Abigail, due October 2nd. We have all been praying for this blessing for so long now, that we were SO ready to celebrate her! I ended up doing my first solo fondant cake for the event. I also made three types of cupcakes. I was very proud with how it all turned out.

Here is the dessert set up.

Here is my first fondant cake I did by myself. I really loved how it turned out!

Here are the chocolate cupcakes with buttercream frosting and pink fondant bows I made.

These are my pink lemonade cupcakes.

Here they are upclose...they were my favorite. They tasted sooo good!

Here are the red velvet with cream cheese frosting with green fondant flowers.

How the cake looked on the table.

The beautiful new mommy, Sara!

So excited that my cousin Shannon flew in for the occasion!

The diaper cake I made for the new mommy!!

Summer fun with Nana

2011-06-29T12:04:00.000-07:00

Addie has such a fun time playing at Nana's house, but especially in the summer. We unfortunately don't have a backyard (just a patio that is not great for playing on) so when it's hot, we head over to Nana's house. My mom has a beautiful backyard that Addie loves to play in. She runs through the sprinklers, rides her bike, and runs around singing and dancing...just being a kid.

My mom recently made chocolate chip cookies with her and they are always taking walks, reading books, putting puzzles together, and memorizing Bible verses. It's just a fun and special place to Addie and we are so blessed that we live so close and Nana can be such a blessing to my girls. Mom, get ready, we're gonna be over a lot this summer!!!

In Love...

2011-06-21T22:28:00.001-07:00

I'm so in love with these girls...I can't even begin to express how much I love my girls!

Milestones for Brynn

2011-06-14T20:46:00.000-07:00

My little Brynnie Bear is growing up! This week she hit two milestones. The first is her first TOOTH! I think she's been working on it for about 3 months! Thank God one finally popped through!! The second milestone was this:

I sat her down in her room in front of her toy and walked out for a minute. When I came back she had somehow pulled herself up onto the toy! The girl can't crawl yet, but she's starting to pull up! Better lower the crib now...like tomorrow!

Playground

2011-06-13T15:50:00.000-07:00

We have this little playground (I use the term loosely) by our condo and Addie likes to go play there when we walk down to get the mail. So we decided to take a walk as a family the other day. It was about 5 o'clock and it was a beautiful day! So we ended up at the playground.

Daddy playing around

Chance got in on the fun!

Our little Monkey

Rapunzel up in her "high tower"

Daddy there to watch our for our girl!

Little Miss Brynn just chilled in her stroller and enjoyed the fresh air!

Here's to many more relaxing family days outside this summer!

Yep, she's a princess

2011-06-03T14:00:00.001-07:00

For all of you who weren't sure just what a die-hard of a princess Addison is, here is the proof! She and Nana had a photo session...this is what makes her the most happy in the world!

Matchy, matchy

2011-06-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

So this is what I dreamed of the moment we found out we were having a sister for Addie! Matchy matchy outfits! I know, they won't let me do it forever, so I'm making the most of it!

It's a Jolly Holiday with Addie....

2011-05-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe my baby is 3! They all tell you it will go by fast, but you have no idea till it happens to you! My mom came up with this idea to do a Mary Poppins themed party for Addie. She loves the movie, and my mom really wanted to sew her the beautiful white dress that Mary wears when she jumps into the Bert's chalk drawing in the movie. And so, a star was born...

She totally LOVED her dress, and all it's matching accessories. She even made us call her Mary all day long.

When my mom and I planned my wedding (wow, almost 6 years ago), we really tried to be aware of the details. Well, this was no different.

When the kids arrived, "Mary" would measure them like she did Jane and Michael. We had name tags for the kids that said things like "Addison, practically perfect in every way", or "Sammy, rather inclined to make silly faces".

We dined on yummy tea sandwiches and fruit.

We played Pin the Tail on the Kite (we used kites as part of our theme because of the final song in the movie "Let's Go Fly a Kite").

Then we painted our very own kite!

Then it was time for presents!!

And we can't forget THE CAKE! My friend Aly, who is an amazing cake artist, helped me (along with Auntie Kristen of course) to decorate this beautiful cake for my girl. I was so proud of the finished product! It was perfect!

And Addie loved it and of course had to steal a taste.

We sang to her and she got to do her favorite part of a birthday party...blow out the candles!

Then finally when everyone was leaving, they filled their goodie bags with all things Mary...

All in all, it was a practically perfect day! Mommy and Nana were so proud, and Addie and the kids had a blast.

Happy Third Birthday Addison!

Hallelujah!!

2011-05-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

This is what Addie was teaching Brynn after watching her "Jesus" movie. Touched my heart!!! Had to share!

HALLELUJAH!

Brynnie Bear is 8 months old

2011-05-16T12:16:00.001-07:00

It's so hard to believe that 8 months has come and gone since our little Brynn entered this world! She is such a mellow baby and I really think she'll end up being our "chill" child. (We, I'm hoping!). She has started to sit up now and has been working on getting her two bottom teeth for what seems like months! No such luck. She has no interest in crawling yet, but I'm totally fine with that! Once they're mobile, man they are into everything! Addie is a loving, yet somewhat rough, big sister. Yet, it seems that Addie has adapted really well with her role as big sister. She is protective and always tries to give her her binky when she is crying. It is so fun to dress them in matching outfits when I can. But, Brynn is still so little (wearing 3 to 6 mo clothes still) that she doesn't fit into the matching outfits I've bought just yet. Our little Brynnie Bear is such an amazing addition to our family and really gives us a sense of contentment. We love that her personality is now starting to show and her big toothless grin just melts anyone's heart.

Someone got into Mommy's make-up...

2011-05-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

Well, we've all seen it on America's Funniest Home Videos, right? Where the little girl gets into her mommy's make-up? I should have known this experience was in my future because of my daughter's love of all things "girl". But I have to admit, I was shocked, and found it HYSTERICAL when Addie came down stairs looking like this:

So...after I had to turn away because I was laughing so hard, I then ran and grabbed the video camera to record this for posterity!
Disclaimer: Even though it sounds like I'm very disappointed in her (because HELLO! I don't need her to do this again!) I'm actually cracking up on the inside!! Check it out!

A state of "not so comfortable"...

2011-05-05T13:56:00.000-07:00

So I find that as soon as I get comfortable...as soon as I'm about to exhale, that's when something else creeps up on me. I'm finding more and more, as I "grow up" that God never wants us in a state of comfort. Because when we are comfortable, we're not on our knees. I know I'm guilty of it. Things are hard for a season, and I'm crying out to Him. I find myself praying constantly. In the car, in the shower, while I listen to worship music, at night...all the time. I'm on my knees asking for the Lord's help or guidance. I am leaning on Him, dependent on Him.

Then, comes the Ah Ha moment. The moment in which the Lord answers my heart and and my prayers. The moment when He is glorified and He works things out. The moment I am at peace and know that God is real....

But then what happens?...I stop praying in the shower, I forget to pray while I'm in the car. Yeah, I still pray before meals, I still pray in church, I still pray at night when I go to sleep. But I'm not in a constant state of prayer anymore. Why would I be?

I'M COMFORTABLE.

And that's when it happens. Something else in my life happens for me to worry about. Something rears it's ugly head. The rug is pulled out from under me. However you want to put it, I need HIM again. He doesn't want us too comfortable because it's then that we forget to fall on our knees and look to Him. So even though I hate the stretching, I hate the worry, I hate the "refiners fire", I know that really, it's His way to bring me back to Him. For me to remember that He's the One in control. That He has me and the lives of my family in His hands. Therefore I need to give up and give in....and I need to re read this everytime I forget it!

Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For I know the plans I have for you", says the Lord. "they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you and future and a hope". In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

The Binky Fairy

2011-04-07T18:30:00.000-07:00

Wow, we can barely believe that Addie is almost three! She has had so many changes this year and has really transformed into a BIG GIRL! She is potty trained (even through the night!), sleeps in a big girl bed, takes dance class, and is a HUGE help as a big sister. There was one thing though that she just couldn't give up! THE BINKY! This has been her special friend throughout her life and she just loves it! She usually had to go to bed with three of them! One for her mouth and one for each hand.

I have dreaded getting rid of this thing! I haven't known how or when to do it. So...Daddy made the decision (he got to be the bad guy! ;)....

I read on another blog about this idea, so we implemented it!

Justin told Addie that she was a big girl now, and that because of that, we needed to give our binkies to the Binky Fairy so she can go and give them to other babies that need them. She was ALL FOR IT... in the beginning. Justin and Addie went and bought stuff to make a "Bye Bye Binky Cake". They baked it, decorated, and put candles in it. (Can you tell a man helped make this cake?)

After singing our "Bye Bye Binky" song, Addie blew out the candles.

Then we went and hung the binkies in the tree, for the Binky Fairy to come and take them.

(We ended up doing this at Nana's & Papa's house too, where she had another set of binkies...)

After the Binky Fairy took the binkies, she left presents for Addie to thank her for giving them to the babies that needed them, like a new baseball and bat!

This went well....UNTIL it was bed time! Then there were many tears shed, many talks about wanting to be a little girl again, and that night daddy ended up sleeping with Addie to comfort her. But after that, we've only have a few times where she's asked for them and seems to accept our answer that "the binkies are now with other babies".

Addie has informed us though, that her binkies are now with her brother Peyton (aw...melts my heart), and also that she plans on buying herself a new binky next Christmas! She cracks me up!

Dear Addison,

2011-02-18T09:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Addison,

Mommy's memory is not the best. So I'm writing you a letter right now to tell you all the amazing and funny things you do as a two and half year old. I don't ever want to forget them, and I want you to know just how cool of a kid you are, so I figure if I write it down, then we can all look back on it and enjoy it all over again.

First of all, you are SO SMART! You amaze me at how smart you are! And your memory! You kill me. You still talk about your second birthday party like it was yesterday! You love to relive it. You say "Mommy, Ariel came to my party". I just love it.

You crack me up with the things you do and say. Here's a list of things I tend to hear or see on a regular basis from you:

* "Mommy when I get older, Daddy is going to marry me."

* "So yummy in my tummy! So yummy in my tummy!!"

* "I'm Snow White, and I ate the apple" (cue you falling on the floor and falling asleep)

* "Mommy, fall asleep" (while we wait at a red light), then "Wake up!" (when the light turns green)

* "Mommy, there's Target!! Your favorite store!"

* "Mommy hold me!!!!"

* "Mommy, you're so proud of me!" (after you've gone #2 in the potty)

* "Oh Brynnie, it's okay, Addie's here...."

* "I'm not Addie, I'm a princess!"

* "Mommy, twril-lel me!" (twirl)

*"Clap for me!" (when ever you do something you feel is worthy)

*You love to sing and you sing certain songs over and over...ABC's, Twinkle, Twinkle, Take me Out To the Ball Game, Jesus Loves Me, The B-I-B-L-E, and Jingle Bells.

*You love to say "Pray like Mary", and make us put our hands together and bow our heads like Mary does in Nana's nativity scene.

* You are in a dress up dress EVERY day and would wear it everywhere if we let you.

* When asked what your name is you always respond "Addison Emily Blythe". Never just Addison.

* You make friends where ever we go. You are so friendly and love people!

* You totally LOVE Disneyland. Some of your favorite rides are Dumbo, Small World, and Storybook boat.

*When we tell you you're being a "Drama Queen" you say "No, I'm a Drama Princess".

You seriously are the coolest kid I think I've ever met. Every one who knows you falls in love with you instantly. You have so much joy and personality, that it's contagious. People can't help but want to be around you. Yes, with all that comes a strong personality that can sometimes get you into trouble, but overall you are a loving, sweet, animated little girl and I can't imagine my life without you. You make life so much fun! I can't wait to see how you blossom and grow. If you're this amazing at TWO, I can't imagine how much more you'll be when you're older. I just know we'll be best friends! I love you, from here to the Big Dipper my love!

No one told me about the poop!

2010-10-01T12:56:00.001-07:00

So as a little girl, when I would dream of being a mom, my thoughts would go to playing tea parties, dress up, reading books, and going for walks with my kids. Now, yes that is a PART of motherhood. A part that I love!

But.....it's not the only part.....

The part that people DON'T tell you about is the POOP! Yep, I said it, POOP!

So, my first time alone with both girls. Justin's parents were over visiting us. When they left, I was alone with the girls while waiting for my friend Esther to come over in about an hour. Addie was in her bed (not napping of course, but having her "down time"). I can handle this, right?

So I'm nursing Brynn, and I hear from Addie's room "Mommy, I have to go poo-poo"! Now mind you, my daughter is VERY smart and has already figured out how to get out of bed when she's supposed to be sleeping. The usual, I need water, I need to go potty, I need my binky, I need my baby doll, etc... Well I had already gone up there about 30 minutes before when she yelled this very phrase "I need to go poo poo" and taken her. AND, she went!

So when she started to yell this again, I figured it was another stall tactic, so I ignored her....

BIG MISTAKE!

I look at the video monitor a few minutes later and it looked like she had something in her hand....UH OH!

So I take Brynn and set her down (she begins to scream because her meal was just cut short) and I run upstairs (which just after a c section, not so good!). I go into Addie's room and swing open the door, and the smell HITS me like a ton of bricks! I see Addie and she has POOP all down her legs, on her arms, on her sheets, pillow cases, comforter, and binky! UGH! It was everywhere. So I pick her up and strip her down and put her in the tub (again, not easy after a c section) and hose her down with the shower nozzle. I try to get all the poop off her, all the while trying not to gag and listening to Brynn scream!

So then I run and grab my wrap and put Brynn on me so she won't cry so much and then juggle bathing Addie and keeping Brynn's head from bobbing back and forth in my wrap! UGH! Then I have to go and strip the bed, throw the binky away, cause there's just not reason to clean that....so gross!

Needless to say, I got it all cleaned up, but was very sore after wards.

Yeah, no one mentions all the poop you have to deal with as a mommy...if they did, I think we'd all think twice before having kids!

Grace...

2010-09-13T06:18:00.000-07:00

“What I need as a mother is grace. God’s grace, that allows me to fail and try again, that allows me to ask for help when I don’t have the wisdom or patience I need, that reminds me we’re not alone in this, and that God loves my daughter even more than I do. And grace from other mothers. I need grace and truth-telling and camaraderie from other moms. I need us to tell the truth about how hard it is, and I need us to help each other, instead of hiding behind the pretense and pressure of perfection.

————-

Let’s think about grace—grace from a God who loves us and values us and picks us up every time we fall, with just exactly the same love and tenderness you feel when you pick up your kids after they have fallen. And the grace we show one another when we drop the comparisons and the catalog images and really walk with one another, on the good days and the bad days. Let’s think about honesty and helping and telling our stories. Let’s give each other a break and a little help and some soft places to land.

If you’re a mom, what you do is nurture and protect and give grace. You do it all the time, and it’s very important, because it reminds us, in daily, tangible ways how God nurtures and protects and gives grace. And maybe today the one who really needs that nurturing and protection and grace is you.”

(S. Niequist)

*******************************************************************

I saw this on another blog and it really spoke to me....

I want to be a grace giver. I want to be the kind of woman and mom that shows my girls what it means to truly have God's grace play out in my life. I have been in need of grace so many times in my life and I want to be the person that gives it back freely in return.

I've failed. I WILL fail again. Yet,I want to pick myself up and try again each time. I have had times in my life where I was not shown grace, and I remember how that feels. I don't want to do that to others. Especially other moms who are struggling each day too.

I also want my children to show me grace as we navigate through life. I will not always be the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect daughter, or the perfect friend. But Christ shows me grace on a daily basis (sometimes minute by minute) and I not only want that from others, I want to be an example of that to others.

So...I'm working on grace....how about you?

Prayer Request

2010-09-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

I am writing you with somewhat of a heavy, yet hopeful heart. We are only 4 weeks away from Brynn's due date! All is looking good with her testing as well as mine. (To put you at ease at the start of this). We are on track at this point to try for a VBAC (vaginal delivery after Cesarean). Of course we are ready and open if the doctors tell us at any point that they want to deliver her via c section if that's what best.

The reason I'm writing is to ask that you cover us in prayer. It seems that the consensus right now is that we should expect for Brynn to end up in the NICU because of Peyton and Addison's history of hyper thyroidism when they were born. I have to say that with ALL my heart, I feel angry at the expectation. I know that God is bigger than all of this, and I firmly believe that if it's His will, Brynn can bypass this and come home with us. We want so desperately to leave the hospital with our baby (something we didn't get to do with Peyton or Addie). We want so much for this to be the smoothest delivery and just a miraculous birth! I am writing to ask you to commit us to prayer for the next four weeks. I am asking that you pray that Brynn will be born naturally, without any complications. That she will NOT be born with any thyroid problems and will NOT require the NICU for any reason at all. Please pray that we can have the same bonding experience and birth experience that so many other families are fortunate enough to have. I will not accept defeat before she is even born. We will pray this baby home! I ask that you would help us to do that! If any of you have prayer chains that you are involved with, I would ask you to put our family on them. We cannot have too many people interceding on our behalf!

Thank you all for your support and prayers. We truly appreciate them.

1 John 5:14-15

And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

Matthew 18:19

Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

Our little fish

2010-07-23T16:09:00.000-07:00

Here is our little fish. She started out on her first day of swim lessons just wanting to put her head in the water and float. She ended like this! Swimming with her arms and feet. We are so proud!!!! All this at just TWO. Where did our baby go? She's such a big girl now!

Update on Baby Brynn and Mommy

2010-07-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

It has been a while! I guess pregnancy and a toddler can make time fly!

To be honest, we Blythes are in need of prayer!

To catch you all up, I am now 30 weeks pregnant with Brynn, and she is quite the active baby.

Addie is potty trained now! (PTL) and swimming like a champ after two weeks of lessons! Although she has found her independance and I am in the process of reading Dr. Dobson's Strong Willed Child! Yet she is the joy of my life!

I am living right now in a lot of pain. I hurt my back, back in high school, and it flares up from time to time, but pregnancy just makes it almost unbearable. (This is the first prayer request). It is so hard to be in pain everyday, and try to keep up with housework, shopping, and chasing after Addison. I will say that the pain is taking it's toll on me physically and emotionally. Please lift me up in prayer as I now enter the homestretch of the pregnancy.

As I've written about before, my thyriod tissue has grown back for a second time now. Because of this, throughout this pregnancy, my doctor has been lowering my thyroid medication. As of two weeks ago, he took me off of it completely. I will admit, I had a bit of a melt down, because it brought back a lot of memories of when we lost Peyton. But God is GOOD! I called my OB (who is the sweetest Christian man) and he let me cry and worry and he decided to put me in NST (Non-stress tests) right then ( I wasn't supposed to start for another two or three weeks). A NST is where I go to the hospital twice a week to the Labor and Delivery Floor and they hook me up to a monitor and they monitor Brynn's heart rate. The goal is that her resting heart rate will be somewhere between 120 and 160. This is considered normal. (She's been averaging 140) Peyton's only symptom was an elevated resting heart rate of about 180 to 190. We did these tests with Addison as well. Yes, it's kind of a pain to head to the hospital every Monday and Thursday, but I am blessed with an amazing Mom who watches Addie while I'm there at my appts. I am now in my third week of testing. It has had a calming effect on me because I get to see her on an ultrasound each time as well as be assured her heart rate is normal.

Today I had my testing and her heart rate was at 160. Even though this is "normal", I asked the nurse to talk to my doctor to be sure this wasn't a concern since it seemed to have jumped up. He assured me it was fine, but I will admit, I had some anxiety today. The nurse that was doing the test was talking to me and made a comment "you should expect that this baby will have to spend some time in the NICU too, due to your history". Wow! That hit me! I have had this thought in my mind, that somehow, Brynn's birth would be different. THIS baby would be the baby that I would bring home on the same day I leave the hospital. I haven't let myself believe that Brynn could end up in the NICU because it's not on option I'm letting myself entertain. I realized today that if I want this baby girl to stay out of the NICU, then I'd better be on my knees. And not only me! It could take an army of prayer warriors. I want this baby to be healthy and to come home! I don't want to endure the NICU again, especially with a 2 year old at home who won't take kindly to me being gone all day at the hospital trying to nurse a baby in the NICU!

So I am asking anyone reading this, please commit our family to prayer. Please lift us up! Please pray for complete health for Brynn, as well as wisdom for the doctors and a faithful heart for us to know that God has it all in HIS hands. Also please pray that Brynn's resting heart rate does not go above 160, because if it does, then we might have to deliver early, and then the NICU would be inevitable. We really could use a blanket of prayers from our loved ones. Thank you all!

God is faithful! We know that! We have Addison at home as proof of His faithfulness and promises! We believe that God will also let us bring Brynn home.

My cuddle bug

2010-06-13T10:37:00.001-07:00

So when Addie was born, it was clear from the start that she was not a cuddler. She would squirm away when you tried.

Now she always wanted me near her cause she HATES to be alone, but just not cuddled. She's too busy, she can't be bothered.

So I would pray "Lord at some point, let her become a cuddler"...it was just something I longed for!

Now that she's 2,something has changed! All of the sudden she wants to cuddle in bed with us, or on the couch with us. She has started the spontaneous "I love you"s. She grabs our arm and just hugs it. She crawls up everyday and kisses and pats my tummy and says "I love you baby Brynn". It just blesses me so much to see her become such a loving and affectionate little girl. I want to bottle it up and keep it forever!

The Purple Dress

2010-06-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've been there. You know, in Target, shopping, minding my own business, when I see a tired, worn out looking woman and her toddler stroll past me. I glance at the toddler and see that they are wearing some strange mismatched outfit, with their hair a mess, a tiara in their hair, and mismatching shoes. I always used to think to myself, "I will NEVER let my child dress themselves like that". You could see the defeat in the mom's eyes. She had given up the fight! She had no fight left!

So this brings me to the "Purple Dress". The ugly, shiny, purple velvet dress up dress. My daughter has a complete OBSESSION with this dress! She DEMANDS to wear it morning, noon, and night.

I enter her room in the morning when she first wakes up and her first words to me are "Mommy, I play dress up! I want my poo-poo dress (aka purple dress)". I then have to fight with her as I change her diaper and try to get breakfast down her before putting it on her.

I was fighting her, trying to get her to take it off at nap time, but yes, I am defeated. I have given in on this point. I finally said, WHO CARES if she wears it to nap in.

I do try to pick my battles. The purple dress is not allowed on while eatting (because this thing is a pain to clean), not allowed during bathtime (don't think she hasn't tried!), and not allowed out of the house. (Seriously, who do I have all these cute Gymboree clothes, when all they are are covered by this ugly dress up dress??????)

But...let's be honest, I'm tired and pregnant...so if you see me in Target or Trader Joes and Addison is wearing this dreadful purple dress, you'll see the defeat in my eyes. You'll know that I have become that tired, worn down mother who finally just gave in cause she just can't fight a stubborn, headstrong two year old anymore!

Don't judge...

Of course, here is a picture, so you will see it. I know, at first you'll think she looks cute! And she does...but NOT day after day!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh...stab me in the heart!

2010-04-22T07:42:00.000-07:00

So as a working mom, you make the decision to do what you feel is best and leave your child for two-five days a week (depending on your job) because you know that even though it's hard, it's the best thing for your family....right now. But let me just tell you, no matter how logical it is to have a job so you can pay your bills, live in your house, and put food on your table, there are very few things WORSE than you child screaming and crying for you as you walk out the door into the working world.

This morning, Addison woke up way too early for her (5:45!!!!). So we brought her into bed and I snuggled a bit with Elmo on in the background with her before I had to drag my booty out of bed to get ready for work. She was okay at first, saying things like "Mommy take a shower", or "Mommy go potty" (she loves to narrate all things I do). When I was done drying my hair, she says from bed "Mommy All Done". I feel like this means we're gonna have a smooth transition this morning. You see, usually when I leave for work, she is still asleep, so it saves the two of us tons of drama when she wakes up and mommy is already gone. No harm, no foul.

So I turn off the lights, get some socks out of the sock drawer, and BOOM, she realizes that I'm about to leave. So she says "Addie go bye bye too!". Of course in that moment my heart sinks. "No baby, Mommy has to go to work, you get to stay with Daddy"! Said in my most amazing voice like I was telling her "No honey, you get to take a bath in chocolate today!". Yeah...she wasn't buying it. She immediately lets out a blood curdling scream and reaches for me. She starts to crawl her way across the bed where I'm sitting putting on my shoes and socks and grabs onto me like we're on the sinking Titanic. Let me tell you, it FELT like we were on that boat! It was so heart wrenching. It took all I had to not burst our in tears and join her sob fest.

I took her in my arms, rocked her and kissed her as she still cried and told her I loved her but that I had to go to work. She held on so tight that after a few minutes, I had to literally pry her hands off me and give her to Justin. Still screaming and with Justin saying "Just GO babe!!!", I backed out of the room saying "I love you I love you I love you"....

Yeah, I KNOW that I need to be a working mom right now, but let me tell you that it SUCKS! My poor girl got her little heart broken today because she wants what all kids want and deserve. A mommy who is with them 24/7 every step of the way. (I know it's not very PC of me to wish that all mommies got to stay home, but oh well, that's just me).

So all you working moms out there...I feel for ya! We've all had mornings like this one, I know. We've all left with our heads hung in guilt and shame for leaving our precious babies. Now I just have to get out of this funk, so that I can do my job today and then rush home to the arms of my sweet baby girl, who wants nothing more in this world, than to be with ME!

A song can touch your heart like nothing else....

2010-04-01T09:31:00.000-07:00

Spring is here, flowers are blooming, the weather is warming up, and the end of the school year is finally in sight! Addison will be two in less than two months, and the pregnancy is going great!

We're super busy in life right now it seems. Too busy to sit and even think about what is ahead of us. I feel like I'm just trying to get through each week, trying to check off my mental "to do" list, feeling like there just aren't enough hours in the day. I find it so hard to fit in my quiet time with the Lord. Being the mom of a toddler, it seems like that is just a luxury! I find that my main time with God lately is in the car, as I listen to my Christian music and sit and pray while I drive.

On my way to work today, I popped in a new CD I bought weeks ago, that I'm just finally getting around to opening and listening to. I blogged about Jana Alayra a while back, about how awesome her story and children's music is.

(Addie knows all her songs now and it blesses me beyond words to hear her little voice singing the words and doing her best to copy Jana's motions to each song...My favorite is when she sings "Nuffin, Nuffin, absoutee Nuffin" with her two little fingers up and shaking in a "no" motion...PRICELESS)

So on my way to work, I wasn't expecting anything other than my usual drive, trying to pray and give my day to the Lord. This particular CD isn't a children's CD, it's written for adults. I blogged about how she lost her little girl in a car accident, and this CD has a song on it that she wrote about her daughter. Well, of course I'm listening to it, and all of the sudden, tears are streaming down my face. It's, to say the least, amazing! It just spoke to my heart and blessed me, so I want to share the lyrics with you! I will bold the one line that touched me more than any other line in the song. I hope you enjoy what it says. Even if you've never lost a child, it helps you to see into the heart of a mom who has. (sorry if it makes you cry :)

Every Minute that I Breathe (Lynnie's Song) by Jana Alayra

Photos on the mantle
I won't change
For they still remind me
of a day
You filled our hearts
with laughter and your smile
How we loved you...
for awhile

The day came in the blinking of an eye
When suddenly we had to say goodbye
As you were soaring homeward through the blue
Part of me went right along with you

Every time I hear you in my mind
Though my heart weeps, my soul takes flight
To the place where you are
Somewhere far beyond the farthest star
Now every minute that I breathe
You live what I believe

You gave me so much more than joy
In you I saw a reason for each morn'
In a world unwinding as it spun
Holding you would make me still again
Many say your days with us were too few
But they were numbered by the Lord for you
A message of your life remains through time
Jesus gave you everlasting life

Every time I hear you in my mind
Though my heart weeps, my soul takes flight
To the place where you are
Somewhere far beyond the farthest star
New every minute that I breathe
You live what I believe
Every timeI see you dancing through my mind
Though I long to hold you, my soul takes flight
To the place where you live
To watch you sing and dance, what would I give
Now every minute that I breath
You live what I believe

One day I will see Jesus come for me
No one knows the hour He will come
I will fall at His feet for all He's done for me
Then straight into your arms I'll run...

Baby #3!!

2010-03-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

Some of you know this...some of you don't. :)

So, my last post about this subject I told you that the doctors told us that we couldn't get pregnant due to my hormone levels, and that we SHOULDN'T get pregnant...

So when I was waking up hungry in the mornings and feeling extremely tired, I decided to take a pregnancy test, on a whim. I didn't even tell Justin I was doing it, because I knew it would be negative....

This is what I saw:

So after I picked my jaw up off the ground, I walked in and told Justin the news. He was shocked and I think his response was "No you're not!". Yeah, took a bit for us to process. We really had given it to the Lord and were fine with waiting another year, as per doctors requests.

We freaked out a bit, got on the phone with the doctors immediately, and got the ball rolling with figuring out what this meant for us.

Here is our jist of what the doctors have decided (after ALL of them congratulated us and NONE of them made us feel bad for this happening sooner than planned). We will take my blood levels every 4 weeks in order to check my thyroid levels to be sure that I don't get too high. Since we thought we were going to do radiation on the regrowth in my neck, that is now put on hold until after the baby is born. I am already being seen by the same perinatologist that was on my case with Addison. I will be seen by her every three to four weeks. Then starting again at 30 weeks I will go twice a week for heart monitoring and ultrasounds to be checked. I am feeling very confident with my care, and I feel like all hands are on deck.

So, here is our latest ultrasound pic (me holding it and taking a pic cause I don't have a scanner at home)

I am now 12 weeks, and am due on September 23. We are super excited and hope we can count on all your prayers as we go through this, yet again, scary yet amazing journey.

What gift did HE give me?

2010-03-09T13:46:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've sat down to put my heart onto the page. I guess I feel sometimes like I should only write when something seems "worthy" to be written about. That's my own hang up (I have lots of them). But today I was blessed and wanted to share...

I was at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and we had a special speaker Jana Alayra. She was AMAZING to say the least. She is a singer/song writer based in Orange County and mainly does children's christian music, but also has some CDs for adults. Anyway, she was giving her testimony, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. I of course struggled and cried a bit harder, due to her story. Bless her heart, she lost her daughter at age 4 in a car accident where she was driving. (Ugh, kick me in the gut with that one). She went on to explain how Christ was with her in this experience and loss. How she felt that He always gives us a "gift" when we experience such tragedy. (I'm not doing her story justice, I'm sorry).

Well, all the memories of Peyton were flooding back to me as she was talking. See, usually I do a pretty good about keeping those at bay. I sort of have a script that I'm used to saying when I share with people about the loss of our boy. It's kind of like I go on auto pilot and don't let myself "feel" the story as I tell it. It's self preservation I guess. There's no way I could live in "that painful place" everyday. I wouldn't be able to put one foot in front of the other. So we sort of lock those parts away, and the rawness of it all. Oh course today that door flew open and I couldn't keep the tears from falling. It's this way whenever I meet another mom who's lost a child. I get their heart and they get mine.

So when she said that God gave her the gift of knowing, really knowing, that Christ was with her through it and had a plan, I thought "What was my gift Lord?" I often look back on how I handled our loss and wonder, "did I do it right?" There's not a manuel. There's not a one size fits all grief outfit to put on.

Lord, did I do what you wanted? Did I learn what you wanted me to learn? What was my gift?

I felt like right then, He spoke to me. He showed me my gift that He gave to me. I truly believe that God gave me the gift of clarity when I shouldn't have had it. He showed me that 75% of marriages crumble and die of divorce after the loss of a child. He showed me that I didn't want to be in that percent. That we needed counseling to get through this. He showed me that I needed to take the time to heal myself and our marriage and to do the hard work it involved (even if others didn't get it) so that I could become whole again. So I could be the wife and mom God meant for me to be for my future kids. He showed me that I could go down the path of pain and bitterness, or I could go down the path of painful healing. I just always KNEW that I needed to get better. I couldn't bury my head in the sand. Looking back, that was my gift. The Heavenly Father knew I needed that gift, and met me right where I was and walked each one of those heartbreaking days with me. Growing me, stretching me, molding me. And He gave me the promise that this is not permanent. That Peyton is with Him and just waiting for me to join them! How great is that? My goodbye was not a forever goodbye, it was more like a see you soon. Another gift....

When the world gives you more than you think you could ever manage or handle...look for HIS gifts. They're there, just waiting for us to open them.

Fun with Friends

2010-02-17T20:05:00.000-08:00

We spent the day with our friends at the park and for lunch. Addie LOVES to play with "Gabey Hannah" said like it's one word. Gabe and Hannah are my good friend Kim's twins. They're about 6 months older than Addison and for the most part they all play really well together.

Hannah is quite the little talker and helper. She's sort of the ring leader, with Addie wanting to do whatever she is doing. Here she was running from the camera and I got her right as she struck a little DIVA pose.

Gabe, being ALL boy, is of course the resident car/truck guy stopping whenever he sees one go by.

Then there's Addie who always wants to color, and by that I mean eat the crayons and chalk. She is also the one "walking around" the park, and not actually playing on much of the equipment. This picture is a rarity.

So we spent the day first at the new park by the Plunge in Brea, and then off we went to get our FREE Chick Fil A meal. Kim had never been there and was shocked at how crowded it was...but come on, Biola kids hear FREE and they come in droves. So we ended up meeting Daddy there too and we all ate our free chicken fingers and they gave the kids some balloons.

Hannah decided she didn't want one (as you can tell in the picture), until Addie lost one in the air and we gave her Hannah's and then of course she wanted it back! Oh the joys of "toddlerhood". All in all, it was a great day with friends.

Raisins

2010-02-06T08:42:00.000-08:00

So my cute baby (although not such a baby anymore) was snacking last night as we waited for Justin to get home so we could meet the Blairs for dinner. In her snack cup was a random assortment of goldfish, raisins, and everything pretzles( the kind with everything on them for seasoning). Anyway so she walks over to me and in her cute voice says " hee oo go mommy" and wants me to eat the raisin she is offering me with her chubby little hand. I take it and pretend to put it in my mouth. I mean sure rains are good in cookies and cereal but I have never liked them by themselves. Well I am not a good pretender cause she sees right through me and starts whinning cause she wants me to really eat the darn thing. So being the loving mom that I try to be, I quickly pop the raisin into my mouth. I think about swallowing it but then decide to chew. (I know you're thinking...it's a raisin!!!! What's the big deal. But it was a mental thing for me).

So here's the lesson. I liked it!! I liked a raisin all by itself. It took me until the ripe old age of 32 to figure this out!! It made me think of God. How many times does He outstretch His hand to us with a perfectly good blessing and we turn our noses up to it cause in our heads we've made a decision NOT to like it. If we would just let our guards down and try something new the Father is asking us we might be really surprised.

Have you said no to God latey when you really should have taken a step of faith and said yes??

Blessings not lost on me

2010-01-24T15:39:00.000-08:00

Today is a good day. Today is a blessed day. I love that today God's many blessings aren't lost on me.

Today God blesses me with:

Communion. I love communion and I always feel closer to Him when I take it.

Friends. He blesses me with some sweet new friends who let me sit with them at church (since Justin has to leave after our fellowship class to go to work). Friends who invited Addison and me to lunch after church, and then they all helped me to wrangle her and keep her entertained being that I was again without my spouse. Friends who asked about Peyton and let me share my story of my sweet baby boy without making me feel like I was making them uncomfortable. Friends who made me feel loved and a part of something.

Rocking my girl to sleep. Whenever she goes down late she ends up needing some help with it. I feel like this is a precious gift that God has given to me because I am all too aware that soon she won't want to sit on my lap and fall asleep in my arms. And this is what I dreamed about after Peyton died so I want to be aware enough to cherish these moments before they slip through my fingers.

Justin gets off work at 5. For most wives this is normal. For me it's the exception. He usually doesn't get home from work until after 7. So it's so nice on Sundays that he gets home two hours earlier than normal.

And the Colts. Justin would be upset if I didn't add that the Colts going to the super bowl wasn't a blessing. At leas in the Blythe household.

So thanks Lord for helping me to see some of the many ways you've chosen to bless me today.

I hope you can find some ways He's blessed you today.

Ugh

2010-01-21T14:52:00.001-08:00

So now the doctor called back and after talking to the head of nuclear medicine at PIH, they've decided that they want to do a fine needle biopsy of the mass before the scan. These are NOT fun. I had one last time and it was pretty painful. This mass is pretty far in my neck so I'm sure this one will also be pretty painful. HELLO! A HUGE needle being put into your neck. Talk about wanting to scream! So please pray, now this is our next step and we're waiting for the okay from insurance.

Rainy Days

2010-01-20T18:25:00.000-08:00

You've got to love how we here in So. Cal have no idea what to do with ourselves when it rains. I think kids have a pretty good idea. This is really Addie's first rain storm where she's been aware that it's raining and she just can't get enough of it! It's like it's built into her to know that rain is sent by God to us to stop and listen to it, watch it, and of course PLAY IN IT! I just love it! Here are some pics and videos of Addison playing in the rain!

and the conclusion...Daddy is crazy!!!

Prayer is a mighty thing if you ask me!

2010-01-20T17:08:00.000-08:00

Well let's start off with saying that God is good! The older I get the more I see His work weaving in and out of every part of my life.

So we headed out in "Storm Twenty-Ten" as the news is calling it (LOL, so lame that So Cal has to stop everything for heavy rain) to head to the doctor. After waiting what felt like forever, with my leg shaking and my heart racing, we finally were called in to wait some more in our room. Justin, being the ADD guy that he is, had his itouch with him, so he was having me play games on it to keep my mind off how nervous I was to get these results.

The doctor walked in and went through an overview of what happened at our last appt. and then started to look at the 18 different blood tests he had ordered.

The amazing piece of news that we got was that every test regarding my pituitary gland came back normal!!! "Wait, I thought I had some of these last time at ZERO? What happened??" I asked. He said he didn't know, it could be lab error. Lab error? I don't think so! HELLO, it was the Lord and I just know it. I have had so many prayer warriors go before me regarding this and now all of the sudden a month later, my levels for this gland in my brain are fine?! I'm healed?!

Praise God!

Again, He's showing me so many things about prayer right now in my life, it's amazing. I feel blessed that right now He's chosen to show me just how mighty prayer can be. He's showing me that HE is in my life, for the big and the little things. It just continues to strengthen my faith.

So, no MRI, no further testing, my brain is fine!

Now onto what we do need to tackle. There is still the matter of the two in. long tumor in my neck that shouldn't be there. I guess it's even bigger than a normal thyroid gland would be. So, our plan of attack is to have a thyroid uptake scan done. It's a pretty non invasive test, but it does have a drawback. I have to go off my meds for almost a month. What that means is that my body is going to go into major HYPO thyroid mode. I will become pretty emotional, very lethargic, lose energy, be very cold, and pretty much just run like someone has hit the slow motion button on my body. I am not looking forward to it. It will then take a few weeks once I go back on my meds to get back to normal. So we're waiting for the test to be approved by my HMO and then to be scheduled. We're praying ( and asking all you prayer warriors that I have) that this can all be done in a month's time. If we do find that the mass in my neck is thyroid tissue, then I will take the radioactive iodine pill and it will work for 6 months to kill the tissue. This means, no getting pregnant during that time because it would then attack the new baby's thyroid. So, we're gonna have to put on hold those plans for about 9 months total probably, but like I said, GOD IS GOOD! We're okay with it. It just means we get to give Addison more of our one on one time.

He knows best.

So please keep us in your prayers and I'll let you know once I get my uptake test scheduled. Thanks to all of you who care so much!!!

A lesson for both of us!

2010-01-10T15:09:00.000-08:00

So I was super excited on Wednesday when Justin and I were getting ready to take Addison to her very first art class. She takes classes at La Mirada Community Center with my mom on Thursdays and has this teacher that she just LOVES. Every day she asks me..."Gina?". And everyday I have to say "Gina bye-bye". She repeats me to show her resolve to the sad fact and waits again for the next day in hopes that the answer will be "Yes, we're going to see Gina". Which for me is never because my mom takes her on Thursdays while I'm at work.

So I've been wanting to take her to a class by the famous "Gina" and one opened up on Wednesdays. Since either both of us or just Justin always has her on Wednesdays I thought this would be perfect. It's called "Edible Art Class". So fun! You have to be 18 months old or older, so she just made the mark, coming in at 19 months now (man, she's so grown up). So we signed her up and were excited to start our 6 week course.

When I got her ready that morning, I had the same thought that most mommies have when dressing their little girls. "She needs to be the cutest one in the class!" I know, some of you moms already know where this is headed....So I got one of her new cute Gymboree shirts out of the closet that my mom and dad had given her for Christmas, and took the tags off (no, I don't pre wash, I know I'm a horrible mom) and put it on her. Got her cute bow in her hair and off the three of us went.

So we get there and in my head I'm thinking, I wonder if they'll provide bibs for the kids since we'll be working with food. Well.....Miss Gina, the one and only, starts by passing out glue and markers! Glue and markers?? Hello! Where's the food? She then proceeds to walk the children through three art projects that included glue, markers, 8 different colors of paint (no, not the water based kind) and encouraged all of them to get their hands in it and get messy! Well....there went the cute outfit! Addie was covered! It was everywhere, her shirt, her face, her hair....even on Mommy and Daddy cause she would grab at us with it everywhere. This is what her shirt looked like when we got home...

So we both learned a lesson that day. She learned all the fun things you can do with glue and paint, and Mom learned that you don't wear Gymboree to an art class. I guess she'll have the cutest "art shirt" now that she'll wear each time we go back. Here is what she made that day though:

Oh yeah, the edible part of the class? A cup of fruit loops at the end that they could make into patterns or pictures before eating. Cute! But not what I had thought it would be. Oh well, you live and learn.

Trying to Trust God in this.

2010-01-03T15:04:00.000-08:00

So I was reading my new favorite blog, by Beth Moore today and tears started to stream down my face. She has recently had a health scare, and I too am in the midst of a health scare. It was comforting to read about her story and struggle and to see how the Lord delivered her from a horrible outcome. I realized though, that I have been faithful in worrying about this, in being anxious about it, but not as faithful to pray about it. I go into to get blood work back from the doctor on Tuesday and my heart is anxious. Yet I am trying to STILL learn to rest in God during anything like this. To know that we are all called to a purpose and plan. We are all called to walk down a different path, and whatever my path may be, the Lord will be faithful to make it work together for good. To work together for His glory.

So this is my verse I'm praying for Tuesdays appt. Join me in this prayer if you want....

Let us then approach his throne of grace with confidence, so that we many receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16

New Year with my Lord

2009-12-30T14:45:00.000-08:00

New Year's Resolutions are usually lost on me. I think I'll do them and I usually go strong till about January 2nd. But this year I've been trying to think, what's a resolution that I can acutally do that I really NEED to do. There's always the "I'll eat better", "I'll exercise more", "I'll stay caught up on the laundry"....but like I said, those are the kind that start out strong and fizzle out. So I was sitting her in my room looking at the enormous pile of laundry that needs to be folded and put away and realized what I needed to do. (The laundry has nothing to do with it, so I'm not sure why it inspired this idea!). I need to be a better EVERYTHING! So how does one do that? The only answer I came up with was to spend more time with the Father. The creator of everything. The only One that can change anything and everything in me. In order to be a better wife, a better mom, a better teacher, a better friend, a better daughter, a better everything is to more focused on what God has to say about all of this. To do what I can to have a "heart like His". So I thought about when do I actually have time to do this? I mean I've never been a morning person, so if I wanted to shoot myself in the foot, I'd pick mornings. No thank you! I am a night person, but after I've been everything to everyone, by the end of the day, it's the last thing I want to do. So let's see...when do I have time? The only thing I came up with was that around 1 o'clock everyday, Addison goes down for her nap. Now I usually take this time to do chores around the house and maybe veg out on a TIVO'd show. Is that really the best use of my time? I can first spend time with the Lord, and then do the other things that need to get done. So....

For Christmas I asked for a Beth Moore book (if you don't know who she is, google her, she is an AMAZING woman of God and author). I did a summer study at church this summer and it was all about the Life of David. I really enjoyed it. So I asked for Beth Moore's book called "DAVID, 90 days with a heart like His". My parents were wonderful enough to give it to me and I thought it would be a perfect way to start off my new year.

So when I usually would have been tackling this:

I instead spent some time with this:

And I already feel like I've been more productive today than I have been in a long time. I'm really excited to start this new year "with a heart like His"....

P.S. Now I really do have to go and fold all that laundry...UGH!

That was a LONG break....Christmas has come and gone

2009-12-28T23:55:00.000-08:00

Wow, to blog or not to blog...I can't believe it's been two months since I've sat down to do this. Although right now I'm not sitting, I'm laying in bed listening to Justin snore next to me, resisting the urge to elbow him to make him stop...guess I didn't do well cause I just woke him up and told him I'd scratch his back if he'd turn on his side!

Anyway, not the point here, sorry. So I just looked at my last post and can't believe two months has gone by. I told myself when I started this thing, I was going to be diligent. Consistent. And well, that lasted like a month. So I'm back on the wagon. Of course I'm pretty sure there's only like four people in my life reading this, and those people probably already know all there is to know about what's going on here on Devonshire Ln., but hey, a girl's gotta blog.

So let's see, November held for us Thanksgiving. We went to Justin's Dad's house to celebrate this year. It was really cute. Dennis and Lisa, or Grammy and Grampy, went out and got all these toys for Addison to have at their house. Dress up clothes and all!

She loved playing with her baby and really loved playing in the toy house they got her.

All of Justin's family was there and it was a great time.

Next came the day after Thanksgiving. This is the day I bumped my head and began the project of redoing my whole downstairs! A complete overhaul! Angie and Gary were my partners in crime. We repainted the whole downstairs, painted the kitchen cabinets, all new artwork, brought my bedroom wardrobe downstairs to put kitchen items in, painted my table and chairs, and more. It was totally stressful for a non changer like myself. It was many many hours and days of non stop working. My mother in law Bobbie and my mom tag teamed watching Addie so we could get stuff done. Why I started this when Christmas was looming? Who knows, I belong in the loony bin. And of course I as write this, I don't even have pics to post cause they're on my other computer! UGH! (Deep breath....). But now it's all done and I LOVE it! My peach (don't ask) walls are gone and now it's something I really like. I hate that I have to reside on Devonshire Ln. much longer than originally planned, but if I have to, I'm glad it looks like it does downstairs. I'm happier, which is turn means my family is happier. :) My deadline was Christmas Eve, since all of Justin's family was coming over and I made it to my deadline. I only tried to kill Justin a few times along the way. ;) (I will post pics soon...of the downstairs, not of me trying to kill Justin).

This brings me to Christmas. It was spent with a little of this:

Disneyland with the Blairs

And then taking first prize at Kristen and Bryan's annual Tacky Christmas Sweater Party...I think the picture speaks for it's self!

Then we had Christmas Eve at our house and I made homemade clam chowder and chicken noodle soup in bread bowls. It was really yummy! I'm pretty sure everyone liked it cause it was GONE by then end of the evening. Justin and I really enjoyed watching Addison "participate" in Christmas for the first time, opening presents like a pro, asking that each box which held a toy be opened right then, on demand. She got some great stuff! We really were blessed.

The next day was spent with my side of the family. We did our annual stockings (they are WAY out of control price wise, but seriously my FAVORITE part of Christmas). Then it was on to our usual breakfast of chili egg puff (never touch the stuff), bacon and cinnamon rolls. Soon after, we tore into gifts but had to take a "nap" hiatus because the little ones could not endure Christmas straight through. After everyone was napped and showered, gift opening continued till evening. Then the McCulloch's all came over and we had our amazing turkey dinner. My favorite of the year. Sooo yummy.

We dressed the girls in matching dresses that I love and speny what felt like most of my evening in the kitchen either cooking or cleaning up. Ah, the life of a woman in my family. All in all, it was a great time with family and friends. Many a batch of almond roca was made, many a party was had, but most importantly we were able to celebrate the birth of Christ with our daughter by our side and in our arms. It was a blessed time to say the least....

My Silly Girl

2009-10-25T20:12:00.001-07:00

So Addison is quite the little attention getter. She LOVES to have all eyes on her and has come up with some pretty cute and funny ways to get people to pay attention to her.

This is her with her "wings" on. She grabs a dish towel from the kitchen, makes us tie it on her and then she flaps her arms like wings and flies around the room!

Here is her next favorite thing to do. She love to sit in the fridge when I open it. She thinks it so funny and WON'T get out for me to close it!

Okay, so she doesn't do this for attention, but it's just too darn cute that I had to add it in. This is her pretending to go "nigh nigh" on the living room floor. She loves pillows and blankets.

Here she's copying Mommy. She is trying to be a helper and vacuum the floor. Of course this is when I'm trying to get her out of the house, cause we have somewhere to be...but NOOOOO, she needed to vacuum.

And taking after her cousin Brayden, here she is putting stickers all over herself. What you don't see here, is that she then thinks it's time for a snack and tried to EAT all the stickers.

So, these are the many silly faces of Addison...so far!

OC Walk to Remember...

2009-10-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

October 15th is Infant Loss Awareness Day. So we find it so fitting to celebrate Peyton each year by attending the OC Walk to Remember. Peyton's birthday is October 20th, so the timing just feels so right to us. This year the walk was held on October 10, at UCI.

The OC Walk to Remember is a nonprofit organization that supports parents who have lost a baby in pregnancy or infancy. The mission of the OC Walk to Remember is to raise money for local organizations that support parents who have experienced miscarriage, pregnancy loss, or infant loss of any kind, as well as be a resource center for parents, doctors, nurses, hospitals, support groups, and anyone in need of support or information. So you can see why this would be so close to our hearts.

Our team's name was "Pacing 4 Peyton"...here's our team...

We had Auntie Jackie, Jake, Papa, Nana, Shannon, Karen, Addison, Justin, me, Ramey, Uncle Gary, Grammy, Grampy, and Auntie Angie. Our biggest team ever!

It was an emotional yet blessed day to be with our family and friends, as well as so many other families who have experienced what we have. Here are some highlights from our walk!

Mommy and Addison during the ceremony

Nana and Papa listening to all the babies names being read.

They released balloons in honor of our babies

Shannon and cousin Ramey walking with Addison and keeping her entertained.

Jackie, me, and Justin taking the steps for Peyton that he never got to take...

Grammy and Grampy

Uncle Gary, Auntie Angie, and Jake

Afterwards, we all came back to our house for lunch! Justin grilled up carne asada and I made homemade spanish rice. This is Addison going back and forth to Uncle and Auntie eating all their spanish rice!

More please!

My mom brought this cake for everyone to enjoy...

They gave all the parents a white rose to represent the baby they had lost. Here is our rose for our precious Peyton....

We hope to keep this up as our family's tradition of how we can honor the life of Peyton and to use this time to come together to remember him and rejoice in the knowledge that he's Home with our Father, and this is not goodbye forever. We can't wait till we get to see him again in heaven. Until then, his memory will live on in our hearts and the hearts of all the people his short life touched.

Remembering him...

2009-10-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

So, it hit me today. For most of my life around this time of year, I would start to get excited because I knew my birthday was around the corner. I've always been a birthday person and LOVED my birthday. But that has all changed. My birthday is now just barely a blip on my radar screen now. It is, and always will be, overshadowed by a different birthday. Peyton's birthday.

I was sitting there today and it all of the sudden occurred to me that in two weeks, Peyton would be three years old! THREE! He would be running around with a truck or dinosaur in his hand, tattling on Addison, getting dirty, and rough housing with Justin. He'd be saying prayers with me at bedtime and saying "I love you mommy" and I tucked him in. He'd know his letters, his numbers, his colors and probably even know how to read a few words (cause his mommy is a teacher of course). We'd be looking into preschools and hearing about what he learned in Sunday School. Our life would be so different than it is today. I'd be planning a party for him. But all of that changed when we lost him. Our path, our course changed forever.

Yes, time helps...it makes the sting less, but the pain is always there. Like when you lose a limb, they say that you still get phantom pain. It comes in waves, and hits the hardest at times like this...his birthday and Christmas being the hardest. But a mom never forgets. A mom's heart never forgets, never stops loving. I can picture him. I can almost hear him sometimes. I miss him. I know we'll be okay. I know we have survived his passing and our loss, but I'm forever changed. Survivors survive, but they don't forget. I'm forever the mommy of my sweet boy and I'm forever wishing that I could have had the honor to watch him grow up and become a man. I'm wishing I was putting three candles on a cake and singing "happy birthday" and seeing the joy in his eyes as he opened presents. I'm the mom of a son, and that will never change. I love him today as much as I did when I held him in my arms. He's my baby...my sweet baby boy.

Love and Respect...

2009-09-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know this whole blog is really gonna be about Addison, but I just have to share about our weekend. And hey, Justin and I working on our marriage is all for Addison, right?

We went to the Love and Respect conference in San Diego. I know it's dramatic to say, but I really think it may have been life changing for me. I learned so much about my husband that I didn't know. I really learned about his needs as man and just how much they differ from mine. I also learned that it's gonna take a lot of work on my part to change how I function and treat him. He would DIE for Addie and me, and therefore he really deserves my honor and my respect. I want so much to be a good wife to him, the wife he needs. This will NOT happen over night but I am committed to making changes within me, not only to respect Justin, but to glorify God. I am excited to see what God can do with this....I am excited to gain a deeper love and understanding of Justin and I'm excited to have an even better marriage. I hope all you wives out there show your husbands respect today for all they do for you and your families. They deserve it and God calls us to show it. ..

Fun with Nana

2009-09-24T18:20:00.000-07:00

So Addie and Nana have a special time together on Thursdays. They go to a "boogie" class, which is really just fun and dancing and playing. She LOVES it and the most talkative girl in the bunch!

She's a superhero!!

Everything goes in her mouth.

She loves to play with balls.

Out of the gate...

2009-09-23T23:43:00.001-07:00

Okay so I'm starting to dive into the world of blogging. I've decided to use this blog as a way for family and friends who aren't around (or maybe those that are but we just don't see often) to keep up with our family. And by family, I of course mean Addison. I mean let's get serious, from the second she was born the attention shifted off of us, and onto her TOTALLY. Now I don't begrudge my darling precious girl of this, because this is how it should be! She's way cuter and more interesting that Justin or I will ever be. And she's just so funny! So like I said this is to start to keep a record of her and all the fun and crazy stuff she does for us on a daily basis. So to start I'll give you a few gems of what she did today....

First she took a 3 1/2 hour nap! Crazy! And she only does it on the days when we don't want her to....she has a sixth sense about this. She has begun to take the stick that we have to lock our sliding glass door at night, and she walks around banging in on the floor. Justin calls her Moses and tells her to "Let my people go"! She is fascinated right now with Ring Around the Rosey and calls it "ashes". We do this and she of course falls down too soon and then claps for her self, says "MOE" and pulls us up off the ground. She also likes it when we sing Itsy Bitsy Spider and does her best to do the motions. She gave lots of eskimo kisses tonight and likes to come up and just hug us when she's not promted to. Oh and she's graduated from just knowing where her body parts are (i.e. nose, mouth, belly button, etc) and she can go and point to mommy or daddy's too (and she goes to the right person!). She's obsessed with shoes right now and wants them on all the time ("Shooooooes") and she even brings us the matching ones to put on her. Now if I could just capture all this on camera! My memory card is full and I've misplaced the cable so I can download what's on there. Of course! My goal is to get those done ASAP so I can go back to taking pics.

So if you're out there and feel like following along and dropping by, thanks for thinking of us!